‘Love’ has been a much used, if not over used word, over the centuries and at times we can wonder if it has been drained of much of its meaningful content. Here we explore three ways in which it has a real meaning, based on the experiences of our contributors.
Detached Love - Simenon
I grew up in a world of relationships based on likes and dislikes, loves and hates, sometimes being in love or falling out of love. Yet whether family, friends or lovers, there was always an emotional entanglement. It was always about the interactions between my personality and theirs, for good or ill.
It was not until my mid-twenties, when I encountered a spiritual teaching, that I awakened to a love that lay beyond those traditional parameters. First as an idea, then as an experience, I became aware of a love that came from somewhere else than my ordinary day-to-day personality: somewhere higher, purer, more universal. A love that was no longer weighed down with my personal issues, hopes, fears and expectations. Coming from my ‘higher self’, or universal soul, it sought nothing for itself but the good of the beings with which I was interacting.
Above all it was detached. I could observe, be aware and yet avoid getting sucked into other people’s psychodramas or mine. It was no longer about my personal attachments but rather focusing on what would be most useful for the person I was working with. It freed me to be truly helpful, whether in my later years as a teacher, supporting people through addiction recovery programmes or sharing insights that could be beneficial in someone’s spiritual growth. By moving up a gear into a different state of consciousness, I could share a love that was coming from a good place with no strings attached.
If I just looked at the social ‘wrapping paper’ of a student or addict I was working with, they might seem very difficult or unlikeable. But detached love goes beyond that, to the light within them, and that is what I worked with.
At least on my good days! I am certainly not always in that state of loving detachment. When I am, I can feel that universal love flowing through me and doing its work in the world.
Fogiving Love - Thérèse
When someone has wronged us, we might demand immediate retribution. Shoot first, ask questions afterwards. Or we may exercise peaceful forbearance. Know that this too shall pass. Either way, we need to process what happened or we will internalise what the Buddhists call the ‘poison of negativity’. Can we ‘forgive and forget’? And can we possibly do this in a spirit of love?
Forgiveness is easier said than done. It makes sense in theory. In practice though, we have to rise above ourselves, put aside our righteous indignation. Painful experience teaches us that clinging to resentment only consumes us. Its destructive force leeches all joy from our existence. It can even make us ill.
So what is the bridge that stretches from knowing we need to renounce our anger to crossing over to the bank of forgiveness? I think it begins with acceptance. Accepting that wrong was done to us. That cannot be changed. Connecting with how we feel about it. We have a right to be angry. Just not for eternity. Not identifying ourselves with the anger but seeing it for what it is. And realising that by clasping a ball of thorns to our chests we are hurting, not the other party. Then we can ask ourselves, ‘Why am I holding on to this?’ Because only we can drop the ball. But do we hurl it away or put it down gently?
I clung to one of those balls after a relationship ended badly. For some time I was bitter and incapable of forgiveness. But gradually through therapy, reflection and inner guidance I recognised that the ‘betrayal’ was my issue alone. The other party was at liberty to make their own choices. Once I gained those insights, I no longer needed that ball. I let it go. I was free. And free to forgive my former partner.
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Forgiveness is not about the other person. They must face the consequences of their actions. Forgiveness is about our liberation. It makes us lighter and clearer and more compassionate. Forgiving love has carried us to the opposite bank.
Healing Love - Jane
I have always been aware that there was a healing energy and as a teenager I decided I wanted to work with this energy. In the work I do, the energy comes through my physical body. I carry my own compassion and own caring for the world and people, but it’s the energy flowing through me which is the most incredible unconditional healing love, and this is what helps people. Healing love finds its way to whatever needs the healing. And that’s not of me or from me. It’s beyond what my logical brain can do. The energy heals and also connects my clients to higher realms and deeper understandings.
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A lot of my work is about getting my personality out of the way, so I don’t bring my own issues into the session. It doesn’t matter if I personally find someone challenging or not and the majority of people are absolutely lovely – but if there are things to be healed then it needs me to be a clear channel. The more I get my personal stuff out of the way, the more the healing energy flows through me. When I’m healing, I look at people, and I look at the brightness within, whatever the rubbish is on the outside. And the healing is there to lift the rubbish out. I always try and remember that they have already have the light in them even if their behaviour might not be good.
When people are willing to do this clearing work, no matter how much trauma or challenges they carry, there are incredible rewards, in the feelings of peace, safety and love. Stresses that have been overwhelming just dissolve and melt down. It is not always an easy path and time is needed to allow the necessary changes. It often does not feel as if we become a new person, it is more that we become who we truly are – comfortable in our own skins and glowing, smiling and radiating. Watching this transformation in people fills me with a deep happiness.
Love can express itself in many ways, of which these examples are but a few. When we choose to practise love at a higher level of consciousness it benefits us and those around us.
By Simenon Honoré, Thérèse Barton and Jane Jackson.
The views expressed in this article are not necessarily those of Spirit of the Rainbow.
To find out more about our work and insights visit our book page and check out our blogs.
If you are interested in discovering more about Jane Jackson’s healing work, you can visit her website: Light Work Energy.
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